It seems like my life is going full steam ahead into the new year and everything in my life seems to be changing and pulling forward except for one aspect of it.
It seems like no matter how hard I try my relationship with Mo is coming to a stagnant, dead end. I don't want it to be this way, I know how much I love the guy and how much I've tried to make us work but he doesn't seem like he wants to give me what I need, want and deserve. It just seems so unfair, I know I pick at him a lot at times, and that sometimes it seems like I'm nagging him for things that seem trivial, but we're in a long distance relationship and it's important that we keep up with ourselves. It's important to stay IN love and I know I'm trying so hard to make it so we don't loose the "fire" in what we have but if he says he doesn't want to give into me, or that he doesn't feel the chemistry to want to give me affection then where do we really stand? Is it really just time to call it quits? Is it over now? Sometimes I just feel like I don't know how to let go, he's so much apart of my life and I love him in so many ways, but I just know that it's not fair for me to be in relationship that's just half-assed on his side. When you really love someone, but it's just not working, when do you say enough is enough? I just want a fresh start for this new year, I want to become healthy body, mind, and spirit and I feel like I can never be truly healthy if this relationship keeps staying the way it is...He wants time to "think" I said I wouldn't wait, but I know I will. A part of me hates myself for being like this, so dependent and wanting him, another part of me knows that being with him has made me better, and has taught me so much. I want to stay with him, while a part of me says enough's enough, you're young and theres lots of other guys out there. Yes that's true but there's only one Mo, and I do love him...So back to that ever incompromising question, if you really love eachother, but it just isn't working, when is enough, enough?
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