New plan

Ok, so here's the new plan and this time I'm going to stick to it. If i don't i'm going to punish myself by shaving my head. And I mean it, if i don't stick to my plan (I don't want to call it a diet because diets are temporary and prone to ending and changing) I'm goin to lose 15-2olbs by my birthday. Preferable 20, but 15 will be satisfactory. If I don't reach this goal then I will have my head shaved. I mean it, this must happen. I need to get healthy, I need to lose weight, and I need to not feel tied down by own body. I mean god, how sad and pathetic does that sound. I can't progress forward in my life because of my own body. Seriously, being a volunteer prisoner in my own skin is pretty much hell and I need to get out of it. I'm also pretty sure that this weight gain has done something to me psychologically. I'm moodier, i'm depressed, I don't care about life as much as i used, i constantly think i look bad so getting dressed up is really pain ful and i don't like doing it. It's like who cares if i buy this really cute dress and get all dolled up, i'm still a whale. I feel less confident and feel like people have the right to talk down on me and walk all over me because i'm fat and look like a bum. Seriously, after hearing that my bitch team mate Krista talked so much shit about me to my other team member I was seriously pissed, but then I thought about it and i actually convinced myself that I couldn't blame her for saying those things about me because i look likea fat slob. I acutally made that excuse for, when she's really just a snobby, ignorant, blond, dumbass bitch. And there is no excuse for that, she just is what she is. I know my self image is hindering me from becoming everything I can be, and truly reaching my full potential in all aspects of life. There are so many things I wanna do, places I wanna go, people I want to meet and I literally am limiting myself and ruining those chances for myself by being trapped in my own body. I feel trapped, literally trapped, I want to be free and I know I'm the only one who can free myself, and i'm constantly so mad at myself because I know I was the one that trapped myself in the first place and I have full power in setting myself free. It is a hell that I live in, me right now, feeling like this, being like this, it is hell and i need to free myself. As i slowly get older I know i'm slowly losing my chance at becoming everything I can be, i want to take control of my life I want to be confident, I want to be free and all these wants of mine will over come my weight and my overeating it will, it has too, or I'll have no hair...