I wish I could hate food...

So, I have completely fallen off the diet band wagon this week. School, work, stress has taken it's toll, working out has been shoved to the back end of the bus, and watching what I need to eat has taken a back seat to quick and convenient foods. Ugh....I hate it, it's like I'm doing good for a few weeks and then the minute some kind of imbalance, or stressor comes along it turns it upside down. It sucks, sometimes I wish I could get an eating disorder, as horrible as that sounds, or maybe a tapeworm in my stomach? Or some sort of outside force that makes it so I can't eat, or eat wayy less...I remember when I was super depressed in Corvallis I lost so much weight! Food was just unappealing, and now that I'm not in sucha depressing setting, food has come back w/ a vengence. Ugh. I know it's not food, it's me, I know it is I who needs to control my hand that reaches for that pastry, or fry, or drink, or (fill in the blank), but sometimes it really feels like this is above me, like I'm disconnected to my body, and I'm watching myself slowly eat to death. Thank goodness I'm an active person, or active enough to maintain my fattiness, I haven't gained anymore weight, but the weight I have gained in the past 3 years or so is no joke. It's scary and I know it's hindering me from who and what I really want to be and do in my life. I just need to light that fire under my ass and get cooking...well not in the sense of food....ugh....